Angels by agent X
EMAIL ADDRESS: aussie_xphile25@yahoo.com.au
DISTRIBUTION: anywhere, just let me know
CLASSIFICATION: V, A, post-ep
KEYWORDS: Scully, Doggett, Luke Doggett
SPOILER WARNING: Invocation, minor season 8 in general
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: The wonderful characters in this story are the
property of the genius Chris Carter, 1013 and Fox
FEEDBACK: Yes please, good or bad, to the above address.
DEDICATION: As always, this story is entirely dedicated to the
wonderful Robert Patrick, who has inspired me to write this by
bringing the character of John Doggett to life!
And also to spookycc - the best post-ep writers around!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: To any DoggettHaters who are thinking of
flaming me for this - don't waste. Constructive criticism is very
welcome, but flames will only serve as entertainment for my
fellow SHODDS and inspiration to write more!
Thanks spookycc for the beta work
Angels
9.37 pm
Doggett and Scully were sitting in the car outside the
Underwood's home when Ronnie Purnell pulled up across the
street.
"Hey," said Doggett. "What the hell is he doing here?"
Doggett got out of the car and went over to where Ronnie was
parked. Ronnie didn't see him approaching because he was
transfixed to the little boy who was supposed to be dead, and
who was now sitting in the car next to him.
"Get away from me!" Ronnie cried.
He was startled when Doggett knocked on the window of the car.
Then Doggett saw Billy.
"What the hell..." Doggett said. "Ronnie, get him out of there."
Ronnie gunned the engine of the car and took off down the
street.
"Agent Scully!" yelled Doggett, running back to the car.
She turned the car around, picked him up and they headed in the
direction Ronnie went. They lost sight of the other car for a few
minutes.
"There he is!" Scully exclaimed suddenly.
They saw the car's tail lights heading into the woods just out of
town. They followed.
A short time later they found the other car abandoned in a
clearing just off the road. They got out of their own car, flashlights
in hand. Doggett started scanning the ground for tracks.
Suddenly they heard a single gunshot, close enough to leave
their ears ringing from the sound.
"Billy!" Doggett shouted, drawing his gun, and took off in the
direction of the sound.
"Agent Doggett, wait!" called Scully. When he didn't answer, she
cursed and ran in the direction he had disappeared.
Agent Doggett ran blindly through the woods, searching for any
sign of Ronnie or Billy. He had to find Billy... he had to get to him
before it was too late.
He stopped for a moment to catch his breath and get his
bearings. He heard a stick breaking just behind him and spun
around to come face to face with the barrel of a gun.
Ronnie cocked the gun and motioned for Doggett to be quiet.
"Throw your gun on the ground," Ronnie said quietly.
Doggett did so. Shit, he thought, where the hell is Scully?
"Look Ronnie," Doggett said carefully. "We just want to know
where Billy is and what is going on here. No one has to get hurt."
Ronnie was getting agitated.
"Billy? I don't know where he is, man! I know where I buried him,
10 years ago, but I sure as hell don't know what happened after
that."
Doggett turned to face Ronnie again, aware of the gun still
pointed at him.
"Are you saying you killed Billy, 10 years ago?"
"That's what I'm saying, man. And now he's back. He's back to
get me."
Ronnie's aim wavered as he made sure no one was sneaking
up behind him.
Doggett seized the opportunity and threw himself at Ronnie,
knocking them both to the ground. He grabbed for the gun.
Ronnie might have been smaller than Doggett, but he was
strong. He wrestled the gun out of Doggett's grip, while at the
same time hitting him in the face with the barrel.
Stars swam in Doggett's vision and before he could react
Ronnie was standing over him, pointing the gun at his head.
"Oh, man, you really shouldn't have done that," he said
menacingly.
Doggett swore under his breath as Ronnie continued.
"You see, I've told you that I killed Billy, but I don't want to go to
jail, so now I'm gonna have to kill you, too."
Doggett closed his eyes at the sound of the hammer being
pulled back. It's finally over, he thought. I'm on my way.
The sound of the gunshot brought him back to reality. He opened
his eyes, wondering why he felt no pain. Ronnie was sprawled
on his back, eyes wide, smoking gun still in his hand and a
bullet wound in the centre of his forehead.
"Agent Doggett?"
He heard his partner's frantic cries somewhere nearby.
"Agent Scully,' he called. "Over here."
She came running into the clearing and stopped short at seeing
Ronnie on the ground.
"What happened?" she asked breathlessly.
"I don't know," Doggett said. "He had me on the ground saying
he was going to kill me. I closed my eyes and the next minute I
heard the shot and he was lying on the ground."
Scully walked over to Ronnie and picked up the gun, inspecting
it.
"Look, Agent Doggett." She held up the gun for him to see. The
whole top of the barrel was missing.
"The gun misfired," she said.
Doggett took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.
"He confessed to killing Billy, Agent Scully... ten years ago."
Scully looked at him with a shocked expression.
"How... then who... who was that little boy?"
"I don't know, Agent Scully. The only thing I know is that we have
to go back to the Underwood's and tell them their son is really
dead."
* * *
11.21 am
The next day
A knock on the door was the last thing Doggett wanted. He knew
it would be her and he knew what she wanted. He just wasn't
ready for it.
Another knock came, more urgent, more persistent.
He shut his eyes, thinking that if he ignored her, she would go
away. He heard her open the door. Damn, he thought, forgot to
lock it.
He didn't open his eyes or get up as she walked cautiously into
the room. He could feel her standing next to him, watching him,
wondering what to do.
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Agent Doggett?" she asked softly.
He opened his eyes then and wished he hadn't. The look of
concern in her blue eyes made them even wider and rounder
than usual. God, he loved those eyes.
"Agent Scully. What are you doing here?" He sat up slowly.
"I... uh... your door was open so I..."
He cut her off. "I don't mean that. Why did you come here? What
do you want?"
She sat down on the couch next to him. "I want to know what was
going on with you these last few days, with this case."
As much as he just wanted to let it all spill out, he couldn't.
"Nothing was the matter. I was just a little tired, that's all."
Scully sighed. "Come on, Agent Doggett, you know that's not
true. Something in this case was bothering you and I think, as
your partner, I have a right to know what it is."
He got angry.
"Look Agent Scully. I'm sorry I'm not Agent Mulder and I know
how you feel about having me as a partner. And even if there was
something wrong, the last thing I am going to do is confide in
someone who can hardly stand being in the same room as me,
let alone consider me her partner."
He stopped and turned away from her. He knew he had gone too
far, but he was sick of being treated like shit by the woman who
called herself his partner. He waited for her to say something, or
to get up and leave; preferably the latter. When she didn't say
anything for a few minutes, he opened his eyes, thinking she
may have left without him hearing her.
When he saw her still sitting next to him with her head in her
hands, he didn't know what to say. When she raised her head,
her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.
"Shit," He muttered to himself. "Agent Scully I'm sorry. I didn't
mean...'
She cut him off, on the verge of tears.
"No! It's not you who should be sorry. From the moment I met
you, you've done nothing but try to help me find Mulder. You've
given up your chance at the Directorship to be my partner on the
X-Files, and you've watched my back without question. So what
do I do in return? I treat you like absolute shit. I act as if you don't
exist, when in actual fact you are the best partner anyone could
ever hope for. I was just so determined to find Mulder that I
couldn't handle anyone else being my partner. I hated Mulder for
disappearing, but because you were there I took that hate out on
you!"
"Agent Scully," he began. "You don't have to explain yourself to
me. I am as much to blame for our misunderstandings as you
are. I guess I held you at arm's length, because of Mulder,
because of the X-Files, but mostly because that's who I am. If I
get too involved in things, they take over my life and I... that
happened once before and..." He trailed off, uncomfortable with
where the conversation was leading.
She looked at him expectantly, sensing there was something he
wasn't telling her.
There was a lump in his throat that wouldn't go away. He cleared
his throat.
"Look, I understand what you're going through. I really do."
She looked up at him with a tinge of curiosity. Here we go , he
thought, she's put two and two together.
"You understand... this case... that's why you were acting
strangely. Like the woman said, you've lost someone like Billy,
haven't you?"
He sighed and handed her a tissue. "I guess I better tell you the
whole story, huh?"
She nodded with a small smile. "I'd like that."
"I've always been dedicated to my work. Even when I was at
school, I was a perfectionist. Everything had to be right. I guess it
paid off in the end cos I have a job that I like and I'm good at, but I
paid the price... I sure paid the price."
"Fourteen years ago I had the perfect life. I had a good job and I
was married to a wonderful woman..."
He saw Scully's look of surprise, but continued anyway.
"... I came home from work one day and Miriam told me she was
pregnant. It was a shock at first, but we were both so excited! We
were gonna be parents. Nine months later she gave birth to our
baby son, Luke. If I had thought my life was perfect before, it was
even better now. Miriam and I loved each other very much and we
loved Luke more than anything. We thought we had the perfect
life..."
He trailed off, took a deep breath and continued.
"In 1994, when Luke was 7, I was a Detective with the NYPD.
There was a case of serial kidnapping in the greater New York
area and I was assigned to the case. I worked night and day,
determined to find the kidnapper (and possible killer) before he
struck again. That was after the fourth victim disappeared. By the
time the eighth kid had gone, I was losing hope that we'd ever
find the kids again. I was working around the clock, sleeping in
my chair at the office, going home for maybe an hour a day, if
that. At about 9.30 one morning, the phone rang. It was Miriam
and she was frantic. The school had phoned her to say Luke had
not arrived. The school was only a few streets away from our
house, so he and his friends walked every morning. Luke had
been late so he walked alone that morning. Miriam had phoned
the local police, who said they couldn't do anything until he'd
been missing for 24 hours."
He stopped again. Scully was sitting facing him, eyes wide, her
hand over her mouth.
"My God," she whispered. "What happened?"
"The night before this happened, I got home around 11.30. Luke
was already asleep so I crept in and kissed him on the forehead.
That was the last time I ever saw my son...alive..."
He turned away from her, his voice breaking. He slammed his
eyes shut in an effort to stop the tears that were threatening to
spill over his cheeks. All of a sudden he felt two small hands on
his shoulders, followed by Scully's head resting against his
back.
"John," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
He sat there for a moment before he became aware of her
rubbing his shoulders gently, massaging his neck. He drew a
shaky breath in an effort to control his voice.
"Do you want me to go on?" he asked her.
"Only if you want to," she replied. "I know it's painful, but talking
sometimes helps."
"Okay... The kidnapper took fourteen children in total, all around
the same age as Luke. I begged to stay on the case even though
I had such a personal connection to it. We brought in a suspect
and I was convinced he was guilty, but there was no evidence to
link him to the places of the kidnappings, so he walked. I was
working double shifts and hardly saw my wife. She quit her job
after Luke disappeared, so she had nothing to do but sit home
all day and think about him. I should have been there with her but
I never knew she would..."
He took another deep breath. Scully continued to massage his
neck.
"One night I came home to change and I couldn't find her. I
checked the kitchen, the bedroom, the lounge, the bathroom.
She was nowhere to be found. I walked into the kitchen to call
Miriam's mother when I saw something strange in the yard. I
found her out in the yard. She... she had... hung herself... from
Luke's treehouse..."
The tears in his eyes spilled over his cheeks and his body shook
with his sobs.
"How was I supposed to know?" he choked out. "I had so much
hope we would find Luke alive. She had none. She left a note
apologising to me for not walking him to school. She blamed
herself. I wasn't there for them both and they're gone..."
Scully sat there with a stunned expression on her face. She
never knew her partner had suffered so much in his life. She
was seeing a side of him she never knew existed. She had
always marvelled at his dedication to finding Mulder alive, but
now she knew why; because of Luke.
"Agent Doggett..." she began. "John. You can't blame yourself for
what happened. Luke's disappearance wasn't your fault."
"Well I can't blame her, can I?" he said bitterly. "Who else is there
left to blame but myself?"
Scully sighed. There was nothing she could do to help him
except listen, so she asked him what happened next.
"End of story. Nothing more to tell." He said.
"But there is, John. This explains a lot to me, but it still doesn't
tell me why you did what you did today, out in the woods."
Doggett sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"Why I did that today? Why I risked my life to stop him, to find
Billy?"
She nodded.
"To tell you the truth Agent Scully, my life doesn't mean much
anymore. In fact it hasn't meant much since the night my wife
died."
"And what if that gun had gone off properly, Agent Doggett? Then
what?" asked Scully.
"Then? Then nothing. I would probably be dead."
"And that doesn't bother you?" she asked in disbelief.
"Agent Scully. I have no family. No one to come home to. My
parents died a long time ago. Miriam is dead. Luke is dead and I
would just as soon join them."
Scully couldn't believe what she was hearing. This man sitting in
front of her, her partner, the man she thought was emotionally
indestructible, wanted to die. He hated life so much without his
family that he was willing to give it up. She had no idea what to
say and was relieved when he started talking again.
"Ever since the day Miriam died, I've purposely put myself in risky
situations. I would never knowingly endanger anyone else's life,
but I would volunteer for the most dangerous assignments, go
into suspicious places without waiting for backup. I didn't care
what happened to me, and neither did anybody else."
Scully put her hand on his arm and gave him a small smile.
"Would it help if I cared?"
He looked at her curiously for a moment and then smiled.
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
"After all you've done for me, I think I owe it to you," she replied.
"You don't owe me anything, Agent Scully. When I told you I'd
help you find Mulder, it was as much for my peace of mind as
yours. I didn't want anyone else to suffer what I went through
after losing Luke and if I could find Mulder for you I thought I
could save you from that, but I can't."
Scully moved closer to him and turned his head with her hand so
he was looking at her.
"Agent Doggett, you have no idea how much your help and
support over the last few months has meant to me. When Mulder
disappeared I wanted to die too, but you have helped me through
this, watched my back and brought me hope that we will find
him."
She looked down at her hands as she continued.
"When I saw you in the woods today with Ronnie Purnell and
when I heard that gunshot, I was so scared. I thought I was
going to lose another partner." She paused. "And not just a
partner. A friend."
She looked up at him to find him staring back down at her.
"You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that," he
said quietly.
She smiled, then leaned over to give him a hug. He wrapped his
arms around her waist and they stayed like that for a while.
"I should be going," Scully said after a while, and pulled back
from his embrace.
"Yeah, okay," he said, a bit awkwardly, standing up.
"Look, Agent Doggett..."
He interrupted her. "John... it's John."
"John" she said. "I know you have watched my back without
question, but I can't do the same for you if you put yourself in
dangerous situations. You were lucky today but you might not be
next time."
"I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He said. "And thanks...
thanks for listening, Agent Scully."
"Anytime, Agent... John," she corrected herself with a smile. "Any
time. And my name is Dana."
"Dana," he acknowledged.
She grabbed her coat and headed out the front door. Halfway
down the path she turned, looked at him and gave a small laugh.
"What?" he asked.
"I still can't get over that gun firing backwards after it worked
perfectly a few minutes before. I swear, John, you must have
angels protecting you."
She got in her car and drove off.
Doggett shut the door and headed upstairs to the bedroom. He
stared at the photo of Luke and Miriam he always kept on the
dresser.
"Maybe I do have angels watching over me, Agent Scully," he
said. "Maybe I do."
The End
Author's Note:
Phew. This is my first fanfic and it seems to have taken forever to
write. I don't know how people write 100 pages of this -- I'm
exhausted and this is only 8!! Anyway, please email me with
feedback -- good or bad -- at aussie_xphile25@yahoo.com.au --
as I said this is my first attempt so if enough people tell me it is
crap I won't write anymore.
The idea for the angels part of the story came from a song by
Robbie Williams which I think is very appropriate for John
Doggett. Here's the lyrics:
Angels by Robbie Williams
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
`Cos I've been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
CHORUS
And through it all
She offers me protection
A lotta love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
REPEAT CHORUS
<Damn good song...>
