Together

Posted in X Files General Author: Xenith

Disclaimer: The X-files belong to Chris Carter and
1013 Productions, not me. I'm
only borrowing the characters for
now. I'll put them back when I'm done.

Rating: PG

Category: VA

Keywords:  Scullyangst

Spoilers: The Sixth Extinction

Archive: Sure! Spookys, great.

Feedback: Love it! Love it!

E-Mail address: xenitha@yahoo.com

Discussion List: Yes!!! Yes!!!


Mulder, I will continue to write this journal,
addressing my words to you, even though you
lay in the bed, motionless in front of me.  I have
no way of knowing what you can comprehend,
either of my thoughts or my words.  I can only
hope that you understand my thoughts
somehow.

I told you to hold on, to please hold on.  How
could I say more, when so much remains
unspoken between us?  Do you see inside my
heart now?  Skinner thinks that you can read
minds, believes that you are afflicted with some
kind of clairvoyance.

Stranger things have happened to us both, and
recently.  I can only hope that you are able to
read my heart and see the thoughts and
feelings I am unable to turn into words.  Things
I have never been able to say.

You must not die.  If you die, then the greatest
part of me must follow you, as I have always
followed you.  

I hold your hand, warm and unresponsive in
mine.  Your eyes stare, clear and blank, at the
ceiling. Your face has no expression.  And your
face is so shadowed and tired.  But why do I
think that inwardly you are raging, screaming to
be released?  You seem so peaceful, but I
know that the drugs cast this illusion.

The nurses and doctor will not allow me to so
much as loosen the restraints, and I tell myself
that you probably can't feel them.  I know that I
am lying to myself.  And I know that you hate
them, hate this place.  

This place smells of disinfectant and terror.

They've cut your hair, undoubtedly to make it
easier for the nurses to care for on the long
term.  Long term.  The doctor doesn't talk
about that any more, he speaks only of your
probable death.  And if you don't die it will be
worse.  You will lie here, in a bed like this,
staring at a ceiling for years until death
mercifully releases you.

No.  No, that won't happen.  I won't let it
happen.  Dammit Mulder, that spaceship has to
be enough of a puzzle for you to fight for your
life.  It's there.  It's waiting for us to study it,
everything you've ever wanted to know is
there.  Waiting.

Reach for it, Mulder.  Fight for it.  Hold on, until
we can go there together.

And I will watch over you until then.